


a (short) study in religion

by patroclusstars



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drabble, M/M, No beta lol, Second person POV, growth baby!!, like 500 words, literally just words, made me a little sad ngl, no one is actually mentioned it's just me talking, short study, some quotes and shit, sorta?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 11:26:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27969794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patroclusstars/pseuds/patroclusstars
Summary: People pray differently. Some to deities, Apollo and Artemis, the sun and moon. Some to capital "G" God, or one higher power.(I prayed to you.)or; technically deancas but i don't ever tell you who i'm talking about
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 6





	a (short) study in religion

**Author's Note:**

> i am: sad and missing deancas especially after that livestream... anyway stan stacey abrams
> 
> I wrote this in 30 minutes wtf

People pray differently. Some to deities, Apollo and Artemis, the sun and moon. To capital “G” God, one single higher power. Some pray to specific people, some not at all. Life is full of choices, what you believe in is the most important. It will dictate your life, how you see things, where you go. Many go through changes, they start out believing, but something changes their perspective, and they stop. Or the opposite. There’s an event that allows someone to open that part of themselves. Be vulnerable. 

(I prayed to you.)

Vulnerability is a bitch.

From a young age boys are taught to hide their feelings. Blindly follow what their parents or pastors or teachers say, not once are they given a choice.

(That is your problem Dean. You have no faith.)

Once upon a time a man made a choice. Little did he know that the choices he made weren’t really his. Everything in his life was just part of a grand scheme coming from God, so that He could get His next fix of a story. It’s hard to reconcile what you’ve believed with what you now know is fake. Characterization, used to make an interesting three-dimensional character, but not much more than that. Imagine knowing every choice, every thought, every feeling you’ve ever had, wasn’t yours.

(You once asked me, what about this is real.)

So used to pushing your feelings down, quietly suffering as the people around you fall and bleed and die. What would you do if they died for nothing? Simply to move the plot along. Anything. You would do anything to get back some semblance of free will, of choice. Being able to make a mistake that you know is yours and only yours to make. No one else had a hand in it. What would you give?

And the opposite. Imagine being the only being in creation that did not follow God’s plan. That deviated. Risking your life again and again and again for a human that doesn’t even notice how much you are suffering. Pain comes in different forms, which can often be confused with love. Love, a wholehearted feeling that makes you feel cold and dead inside. That leads to your death. It’s dangerous. A drug that gets you hooked and won’t let you give in, no matter how much it hurts.

(Why does this sound like a goodbye.)

Or, is it something that changes you on a spiritual level? Fills you up, makes you whole again? After losing your support system you would need something to fall back on, but this is not what anybody thought would happen.

(You see yourself the same way your enemies see you. That’s not who you are.)

It’s not everyday that an angel falls from Heaven. Falls for a human. And it’s not a common occurrence that a human, so consumed in grief and self loathing, learns his worth. They chose each other.

(I’m beyond saving.)

No matter what the odds, they found their way back to each other. It was a match literally made in Hell, but throughout the years they have fundamentally changed each other. A man knows his worth, an angel defies his creator.

They’ll come back to each other.

(That’s not who I am.)

After all, they have always shared a rather profound bond.

(I love you.)


End file.
